We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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