I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
