In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
