why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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