Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
