i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
