soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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