wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
