Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
