Don't make out with my wife yet
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My penis needs a shock collar
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
