Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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