I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize