It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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