Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
