Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
