Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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