Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize