ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
