PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
