You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
