Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
