Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
