therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
