do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
