Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
