Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
