love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
