Will you blow on my dice?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
