I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize