she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize