May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
