yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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