It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
