3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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