So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
