We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
