I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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