Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
