HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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