4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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