dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
