if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize