eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
