i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
