you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
