I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
