dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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