yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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