He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
