So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We got so high we made milksteak
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
