I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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