just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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