could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
