I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize