VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
