maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
