Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
