During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
there was a trapeze. enough said
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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