I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
