cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
