This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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