When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
please don't ironically join a cult
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