butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
