If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
