did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
COCAINE IS GR8
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
